simplifying and focal order

Hey Cory,

I worked on top of your composition real quick. What I basically did was to simplify it and added the focal read order which I felt would tell the story.

I simplified the left one. To create peace I took the clutter away. Now it needs more detail of course but just wanted to make them clear. Left one peace, right one chaos.

Does this make sense? Let me know. See you soon.